unhappy

I am. For the longest time I suppose. I have never been truly happy. Like 24/7 kind of happy, Sure I have a couple or two moments of pure bliss. But that’s what they are. Moments.

Most of the time it is shitty. Every day of the week. Different variations, different degrees but still the same shit.

So what do I do to ease my weary mind? I don't do drugs and I am not planning to ever. Yes, I have oral sex every weekend but that’s just about it.

If listening to music fails me, I chant. Hell yeah, I chant like a freaking Buddhist monk. Silly right for an atheist like me. But you got to understand. In some way or another, I have to trick this fucking brain of mine to shut the fuck up.

So yeah. That is what I do. It has been a couple of days now that I chant “om nama shivaya”. In various styles mind you.

You could blame the book Eat, Pray, Love. Hey, it is a good book. Well, I have not finished yet but so far it was funny. And sad. I promise to be done with it by the end of this month. And yeah sure I will watch the move again.

So cheers to my mundane life. I am writing this because I am really down. Like several weeks depressed kind of down. So I guess I’d better write again and revive this blog.