Tuesday, December 31, 2013

just another shift

So, a few hours from now it would be 2014. I just feel too old, too jaded to welcome another new year. But conformity dictates that everyone must be happy and hopeful later when the clock strikes midnight. My shift is exactly by twelve am however. It would be queuing I imagine. I assume I would simply return my office mates greetings as courtesy.

I am so used spending the holidays on the operations floor. Tonight would be a little different though because I can't go out to watch the fireworks at least.

I have made one public new year's resolution though. I would attempt to quit smoking yet again. I made that sacred pinky promise to one of the very few friends I have at work. This year I only managed to stop for four months. Depression took over so I didn't overcome my addiction.

I made other promises to myself too. Things that I should have been doing a long time ago but couldn't bring myself to do. I should have the words discipline and commitment tattooed on my arms.

I don't see myself as a pessimist. Realist perhaps. The great paradox is I never get tired of dreaming. Even all of them remain just that- dreams.