bad blogger

Not because I am a bad writer though. Mediocre I would say. I couldn't be that bad.

So the last time I posted an entry was way back in June last year. Just too darn lazy.

Now that I would be shelling out a thousand bucks a month for my internet connection on this rat hole that I am living, would there be any difference?

My net connection for years was this prepaid broadband stick that only works during the wee hours of the morning. I could have spend those offline time of mine writing my hours away but I didn't. Too lazy as I have said.. Too hesitant also. I don't have much going on with this mundane life of mine. I am a bit afraid also that somebody I knew would stumble on this rubbish I created. There is no denying that it would be me. I would cringe to death if confronted.

Sure I could have written fiction. But that would take more effort I suppose. I don't want to be like those writers in Watt Pad. Their stories are nice I suppose but I simply can not stomach the way they were written. Well to be honest I just read a chapter or two of a couple of novels in there. My boyfriend is still fond of them (so fond he missed a flight) and I tried reading with him sometimes before going to bed.

I suppose I have to ask myself again why the hell I have this blog to begin with. Do I want to gain more friends? Do I intend to make money out of this? Do I want to gain popularity?

The answers for all that is of course no. I simply wanted to express myself. I just wanted to have an outlet where I can drain all these thoughts of mine. I think to much. Day dream too much.

If I manged to gain some friends that would be a tremendous bonus.

Now if only I can tame some of these wild thoughts of mine and capture them in words....