So, a few hours from
now it would be 2014. I just feel too old, too jaded to welcome
another new year. But conformity dictates that everyone must be happy
and hopeful later when the clock strikes midnight. My shift is
exactly by twelve am however. It would be queuing I imagine. I assume
I would simply return my office mates greetings as courtesy.
I am so used spending
the holidays on the operations floor. Tonight would be a little
different though because I can't go out to watch the fireworks at
least.
I have made one public
new year's resolution though. I would attempt to quit smoking yet
again. I made that sacred pinky promise to one of the very few friends I have at work. This year I only managed to stop for four months. Depression
took over so I didn't overcome my addiction.
I made other promises
to myself too. Things that I should have been doing a long time ago
but couldn't bring myself to do. I should have the words discipline
and commitment tattooed on my arms.
I don't see myself as
a pessimist. Realist perhaps. The great paradox is I never get tired
of dreaming. Even all of them remain just that- dreams.
